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  Holy shit, I guess Iím a blogger now.

JULY/2011 Ė I think the title says it all. Anyone that knows me also knows that I hate blogs and bloggers with a passion. I hate the word ďblogosphere.Ē I hate that news organizations quote bloggers like theyíre some sort of experts. I hate what I can only imagine are their beady eyes and smug, stupid looks on their faces. I imagine that they all ride fixies to food trucks whose location was gleaned from Twitter feeds. Gaaaaahhwwwwwddddd, they make me so mad!

So, why am I joining their ranks, you ask? I can only answer with this: Iím lazy. (Iím shrugging my shoulders, making a stupid meh face as I type this.)

Let me explain. Those in the know have read the randomly produced/sporadic Turnip Farm zine that my friends and I put together, mostly in the 1990s. Turnip Farm was (is) a passion of mine. But, over the years Iíve neglected it like itís an unwanted guest sleeping on my couch/overstaying its welcome.

To be honest, when I start planning an issue of Turnip Farm, Iím psyched out of my mind so much that I want to punch myself in the face (hard). But after writing a few things and editing a few more, I simply lose my steam and it becomes a chore.

Turning Turnip Farm into a blog is the only thing I can think of to keep the proverbial dream alive. Itís the best of both worlds. I can get pumped up and write/post when it tickles my fancy, but donít have to slave over it until my brain starts trying to climb out of my skull through my ears.

So, what will the new/devolved/unimproved Turnip Farm blog (Iím making gagging, choking faces as I write this word) look like? If I know myself (and good god, I hope I do by now), it will be an ever-evolving hodge-podge of essays, short stories, shorter stories, shortest stories, film/art/music reviews, photography, poetry, recipes, Livoti Sinks (maybe, who knows, I havenít recorded anything in three years), life, art, stuff, things and the occasional rant. Iíll probably even dredge up some old-school tomfoolery to throw into the mix, now and again.

The blog is currently full of smooth, clean whiteness that somewhat resembles a newborn babyís buttocks. Iíll keep adding stuff and some day (sooner? later?) Turnip Farm the (sigh) blog will be a plethora of velvety goodness Ö whatever the hell that means.

Now itís time to go punch myself in the face and get to it.

Are you ready?

Yup.

-Caruso Deluxe

 
         
     

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