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  Random article comments.

SEPTEMBER/2011 – Astonishingly real comments I’ve come across while perusing articles on various news sites. I couldn’t make these up if I tried. NOTE: The editor in me couldn’t resist correcting any and all misspelled words, unless otherwise noted. An angel loses their wings every time a word is misspelled on the internet.

  • Obviously there are some blatant liberal twinks out there who want (Hugo Chavez) to get better soon. Hope all you Fascist Pigs get cancer soon. That includes you Sean Penn.
  • Try going to a female doctor and telling her one of your nuts hurts. She'll say “GOOD” and still charge you for an office visit. Women hate men. Especially if you make fun of their gunt (sic).
  • The IDIOTS in Washington just flushed us down the sewer!
  • My kid built a thermonuclear device using a junked lawnmower and a bunch of old luminous watch dials. I got nervous and had to spring for a whole lot of big Estes rocket motors to launch that thing into orbit.
  • The bigger moon killed the smaller moon then scattered the “body” and made it look like an “accident”.
  • Fascinating (rolling eyes). I’m eagerly awaiting the reports on the theories about how much cheese survived the impact.
  • We just need to pay teachers more. Maybe if we paid ‘em $200 an hour instead of the current $50 an hour, they'd do their job.
  • The reason? Fat, listless, lifeless, over-indulged, white goobers and gomers. Any questions?
  • The Texas turd is really starting to smell bad!!!
  • I went to check my garden but it has moved north into my neighbor’s yard.
  • The large dam completed a few years back in China is so heavy it redirected the earth’s rotation by almost 1 degree. Perhaps Mona Kea was influenced by that or recent solar flares or perhaps too many gaul dang humans leaching off earth's diminishing supplies.
  • God has a plan for this planet. It may or may not involve aliens.
  • Well let’s get ‘em ID'd so if any of them die off the tree huggers can form a chain and sing Kumbaya.
  • There are TRANSDIMENSIONAL GATEWAYS all over BENEATH THE OCEAN that continuously pipe in thousands of EXTRATERRESTIAL PARASITES into our ecosystem to devour our NATURAL RESOURCES.
  • Nothing warms the cockles of the heart like an arbitrary number.
  • The indians, woo-woo, not dot heads, are NOT native to America. They came from Asia.
  • First it was spudnik (sic), now OOOOPSNIK!!!!!.
  • The proper term for throwing someone out a window is “defenestration.” I should think it should cause injuries, that’s the point. I know whenever I defenestrate someone I am doing it to hurt them.
  • This is why I always tell parents, it’s never too early to talk to your kids about Linux.
  • Right, 20 years from now, they will discover that people who used the product extensively started growing testicles on their forehead, slight oversight.
  • That stuff will strip the paint off your house and give your whole family a permanent orange Afro.
 
         
     

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